We were given permission to just shut down and go home due to the freezing cold. Still on campus? Tuorum Periculo, folks!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 31, 2017
It’s Sunday and freezing out there! #DidYouKnow that our college leadership is taking a “work retreat” in sunny Southern California? We’re shivering, waiting for someone to fix the heater in our campus office. #Bitter
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 31, 2017
#DidYouKnow that Hudson’s Medical Center prescribes the most anti-psychotic medication of any hospital in the world? #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 31, 2017
#DidYouKnow that Hudson was voted to have the best vending machines of any college? (It’s not a big deal, but it’s something...)
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 30, 2017
Hudson University would like to remind our students that we do not recommend they go to Times Square n New Years Eve. Not because it’s dangerous, but because students keep getting arrested for public drunkenness and we’d like to avoid the controversy.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 30, 2017
The Dean of Students just called in to make sure we were still “twitting” today while he enjoys a family vacation in sunny Disneyland, California. Nice to know our “twits” are important enough for him to worry about them, but not enough for him to be in the office to do them.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 30, 2017
Happy Saturday! We can’t believe we’re in the office on the Saturday before New Year’s Eve...
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 30, 2017
Rikers Bail Bonds is offering Hudson students a 10% discount on bail bond service fees! Call 1-888-HudsonCrime for more details!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 29, 2017
#HudsonUMythBusting Hudson is not one of the possible locations where Jimmy Hoffa might be buried.... we think.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 29, 2017
Contrary to press reports, we are NOT planning to make Keith Morrison from Dateline NBC an honorary Hudson Dean. #HudsonUMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 29, 2017
#DidYouKnow that Hudson students can perform their court mandated community service on campus by calling up alumni asking for donations?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 29, 2017
Contrary to popular belief, it is indeed possible to walk 500 feet on our glorious campus without stumbling upon a dead body. #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 29, 2017
Happy Friday! The new year is almost here and our crime counter will go back down to 0! #TheMostWonderfulTime #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 29, 2017
We don’t think that group of clowns currently massing in the quad are students... any volunteers want to ask them what they want?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 28, 2017
#TBT to the last year we had no murders or major crimes on campus- 1921! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 28, 2017
#DidYouKnow that Hudson University’s special NYPD precinct is the busiest in all of NYC? #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 28, 2017
Hudson University will be opening a bodega on campus this spring. What would you like to see us sell there, other than mace or tasers?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 28, 2017
We’ll be removing all of the RC Cola machines from campus and replacing them with the amazing new official drink of Hudson University- Shasta Creme Soda!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 28, 2017
Happy Thursday! The power is now back online, though campus is mostly empty, so nobody really cares either way.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 28, 2017
Reports of a massive power outage on campus dramatically affecting operations are exaggerated. There is a massive power outage, but other than some squatters and a few social media folks huddled in the one room with a generator, it is not dramatically affecting anything.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 27, 2017
#DidYouKnow that residence hall burglaries at Hudson dropped a whopping .2% this year? #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 27, 2017
On behalf of Dean Gilmore and the entire board of Hudson University, we would like to apologize to NYPD Detective Robert Goren for Dean Gilmore’s unfortunate comments to the NY Ledger about Det. Goren being a “Nut job” and “unstable”. Though have you met that guy? <Cuckoo>!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 27, 2017
Since it’s so quiet around here, we figure it is the perfect time to post the list of faculty members who are now under open indictment. Check it out for the next few minutes outside Schiff Hall!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 27, 2017
It’s Wednesday! It’s also very quiet on campus. Too quiet...
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 27, 2017
Okay, if a security badge went missing, it might have just been found. So everything should be cool now. #SighofRelief
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 26, 2017
Until further notice, please assume anyone with a Hudson U. Security badge to be possibly dangerous.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 26, 2017
Did anyone find a Hudson U. Security Badge anywhere on campus? Asking for a friend.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 26, 2017
We have found a new campus soda sponsor! Shasta Creme Soda will be the only drink available on campus!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 26, 2017
Hey, it’s Tuesday! Please note that the Hudson Bookstore will be closed until January 9th. Also- returns are only accepted for two weeks after your purchase.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 26, 2017
Despite what you might have heard, most things that happen on the Hudson University campus are legitimate and positive. Let’s think about and remember the good things, especially when we’re sitting at Christmas dinner with family & friends! #MerryChristmas #DonateToHudson http://pic.twitter.com/5TKk7WLvXT
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 25, 2017
Merry Christmas, Hudsonites! Despite it all, you can at least say you’re still alive!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 25, 2017
Still looking for that perfect Christmas gift? We can’t really help you with that, but maybe you could donate some money to our legal fund? #DonateToHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 24, 2017
Our exclusive deal with RC Cola is ending in a week. Anyone have Shasta’s phone number? Maybe Cragmont?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 24, 2017
Hey alums, do you need a tax deduction and want to support Hudson? Just need a tax deduction? #DonateToHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 24, 2017
Campus security is not available for the next few days. If you require assistance, please call 911 or consult a mortician.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 24, 2017
It’s Sunday! Nothing on campus is open, but if you’re stuck on campus, you can probably find something to eat in the dumpsters behind the dining commons. They just cleaned out all the old frozen stuff at the back of the freezers.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 24, 2017
There’s still time to get great Hudson University gifts!#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/FfhbClNlAA
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 23, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/7H520IIeFv
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 23, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/g1ecUNRfW3
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 23, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/EywPXktS5m
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 23, 2017
Happy Saturday! Remember that our Hudson University Bookstore is open today! Stop by for those last minute gifts!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 23, 2017
Please Note: The Hudson Bookstore will be open tomorrow for last minute shopping! The store will be open from 8AM-5PM or until the credit card companies realize we’re not checking IDs and start declining purchases!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 23, 2017
Those of you on campus who are hearing sirens- those sirens are unrelated to anything happening on campus- we think.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 22, 2017
We’re taking a break this holiday weekend, but will post as needed if something happens that requires us to communicate with the campus community. Good luck!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 22, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas #WeGotDVDs http://pic.twitter.com/RV3YbQ9QVS
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 21, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/OYXFKd4BRd
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 21, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/8cD47IJG61
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 21, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/IoVR7pRE7I
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 21, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/KMdt7nLti5
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 21, 2017
Hey, it’s quiet out there this Thursday! Remember we’ve got a Bookstore full of last minute gift ideas, including true crime books based on Hudson University! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 21, 2017
Remember: your parents can still make a donation just in time for your professors to “change their minds voluntarily” and give you higher grades. How much higher? Depends on the donation!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 20, 2017
Please note that our campus public safety unit is out of the office for the next two weeks. If you encounter aggressive squirrels on campus, you’re on your own! You can always try throwing a shoe at the alpha squirrel to establish your dominance. Be careful- they have rabies!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 20, 2017
Still looking for Christmas gifts? The Hudson University Bookstore is fully stocked with gifts everyone will love! Plus, we’re not too careful about checking IDs for credit card purchases if you catch our drift...
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 20, 2017
Happy Wednesday! Now that the holiday break is upon us, it’s quiet out there on campus. Too quiet.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 20, 2017
http://pic.twitter.com/GHikS7QYEj
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 20, 2017
Students: Do us a favor when you’re home for the holidays! Tell your family and friends that the terrible things they’ve heard about Hudson University are mostly untrue! After all, we had less murders this last quarter than the one before!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 19, 2017
Are you leaving NYC for the holidays? Make sure you take and/or lock down your valuables- remember the thefts from Thanksgiving weekend? #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 19, 2017
We did it! There was some suspicious activity but no murders! The quarter is officially over! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 19, 2017
Please be advised: there is currently no police action on campus. We’ve just stationed campus security and NYPD around campus at the usual spots to report in on any possible body dumps or criminal activity before noon. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 19, 2017
The report of a body being found in the Rose Garden was false; Professor Schultz was taking another one of his alcohol fueled “naps” again.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 19, 2017
Just one more hour until the quarter ends and we can officially say that murders were down on campus! Please don’t ruin this for us!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 19, 2017
Our lawyers have reminded us that we should probably remind you NOT to commit murders of any kind, regardless of whether you do it on campus or not. (But definitely not on campus.)
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 19, 2017
Last quarter we had 12 suspicious deaths and 9 murders. We’ve got 12 suspicious deaths but only 8 murders so far. Keep the positivity flowing by refraining from committing any murders on campus! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 19, 2017
Happy Tuesday! The quarter officially ends at Noon today and our crime stats will down across the board- for once! Don’t commit any murders between now and noon! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 19, 2017
Will the person who keeps writing ‘acid is groovy, kill the pigs’ on campus restroom mirrors please stop. You’re scaring the freshmen.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 18, 2017
Consider a donation to Hudson University this holiday season! Our legal fund is getting scarily low... #DonateToHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 18, 2017
#DidYouKnow that Hudson Alumni who graduate with a computer science degree create more sophisticated phishing scams than alumni from other universities? #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 18, 2017
Happy Monday! After an intervention from the Hudson legal department, the decision was made to open up Schiff Hall for those students who had to move out from the residence halls before their last final. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 18, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/3J8keexXyf
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 17, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/YDSkHkK1ii
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 17, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/oQuE73PtFH
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 17, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/0n0p4mx3I5
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 17, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/BfAFKdTjr6
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 17, 2017
#HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/eEVrV9xq0N
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 17, 2017
Looking for last minute gift ideas? We’ve got Hudson related gifts for everyone on your list! #HudsonGiftIdeas http://pic.twitter.com/2qCFTc8u3v
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 17, 2017
Everyone must leave campus housing tomorrow. Unfortunately, the last finals are on Tuesday, so we’re letting students who can’t afford a hotel room “camp out” in the Rose Garden. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 17, 2017
Are you in Professor Schultz’s class? Did you witness his breakdown during the final this morning? You get an A! (Acceptance of the A constitutes a waiver of any and all claims against Hudson.)
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 17, 2017
Happy Sunday! Yes, we have Sunday finals! No, the dining commons isn’t open!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 17, 2017
Behave yourselves tonight! The quarter ends in a few days and we want to be able to announce that Crime is down 2% this quarter!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 16, 2017
Please don’t cheat on your finals, but if you do, remember that Hudson could use a library annex, so if your parents are willing to make a “donation”...
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 16, 2017
Our campus dining locations are on finals/holiday schedule beginning today. That means you’re on your own, kids!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 16, 2017
Tired of finals yet? Just a few more days until the Holiday Break! #HudsonUFinals
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 16, 2017
Anyone know how to delete mistaken twits? Anyone know how to stop voice recognition from sending out twits?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 15, 2017
Siri can you send twitters if I just ask you to send them? Yeah, I’m using the voice thing to see if Siri can help us twit. I don’t think it has been sending anything out. What? That nut Goren is on campus again? Someone died? Wait a minute, I think Siri is sending things out
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 15, 2017
Hey Jeeves, where can I find information about twittering?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 15, 2017
Anyone know the twitter or the google? Our normal student twitters are taking finals today.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 15, 2017
Finals begin today! Happy Thursday! Our professors cannot accept bribes, but they do accept “tips”. #Wink
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 14, 2017
Rikers Bail Bonds is offering Hudson students a 10% discount on bail bond service fees! Call 1-888-HudsonCrime for more details!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 13, 2017
Did you catch Professor Jess MacDonald’s crazy outburst? If so, report to the admin building for an instant cash settlement from Hudson!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 13, 2017
The New York Ledger continues to be unfair to us. The vast majority of our students are still alive by the time they graduate!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 13, 2017
Sign up for a Hudson U. credit card and register to win an all expenses paid trip to Los Angeles, including a stay at the Cecil Hotel!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 13, 2017
Happy Wednesday! Finals begin tomorrow! #HudsonFinals
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 13, 2017
We’re hosting a voluntary blood drive! The student health center goes through so much blood, we need to replenish our supply! Donate now!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 12, 2017
Have you seen any aggressive, irradiated squirrels on campus? Please return them to Tripley Hall, where no strange experiments are happening.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 12, 2017
Please stop posting pictures of fake crime scene tape draped around campus on your FacePlace pages. It’s freaking our future freshmen out.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 12, 2017
#DidYouKnow that choosing to attend Hudson is considered to be a usable defense when entering an insanity plea in the state of New York?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 12, 2017
#DidYouKnow that the Hudson Medical Center accepts most insurance plans, credit cards, cash, checks and organ donations as payment?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 12, 2017
Happy Tuesday! Finals driving you crazy? Please head to the student health center for some “medicine”! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 12, 2017
Are you using dating apps at Hudson? Swipe left! For goodness sake, ALWAYS swipe left!!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 11, 2017
Are you willing to trade your dignity and integrity for a paycheck? Join the Hudson University Public Relations Dept!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 11, 2017
We don’t know anything about his academic degrees, but we’re pretty sure that NYPD Detective Goren is NOT a licensed psychiatrist.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 11, 2017
#DidYouKnow that Hudson employees use more psychiatric services for stress than the employees of any other university?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 11, 2017
#DidYouKnow that we block the cable channel “Investigation Discovery” in the residence halls?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 11, 2017
Happy Monday! Only ten people will be getting automatic 4.0s this year due to their roommates dying. Everyone else- good luck on your finals!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 11, 2017
Briscoe’s Cafe is not currently open due to a rodent infestation. It might be able to open later, so please stop by!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 10, 2017
Please ignore the sirens you may be hearing- there isn’t an emergency on campus. We think.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 10, 2017
Happy Sunday! Are you studying hard? Finals begin next week. Time to panic! #HudsonFinals
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 10, 2017
It’s Saturday! We probably should have mentioned it sooner, but you cannot qualify for an automatic 4.0 if you caused the death of your roommate. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 9, 2017
The quarter has ended. If your roommate dies now, no 4.0 will be granted to you. Better begin studying for finals! #HudsonUFinals
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 8, 2017
TGIF! The quarter ends this evening at 5PM, which means there are just nine more hours for you to get a 4.0 if your roommate dies! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 8, 2017
Happy Thursday! Finals begin next week- are you ready? If not, there are two days left for your roommate to possibly die, thus giving you a 4.0. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 7, 2017
We’ve had a nice streak of non-controversy, so please keep up the good work, Hudson U!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 7, 2017
The Museum of Crime, located in Manhattan has finally honored Hudson with our very own exhibit! Head on down for some intriguing artifacts!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 6, 2017
#DidYouKnow that choosing to attend Hudson is considered to be a usable defense when entering an insanity plea in the state of New York?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 6, 2017
#DidYouKnow that the New York Ledger named us the safest University campus named after the Hudson River? #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 6, 2017
FYI: Serial killer Martin Robert Fitz is not a Hudson U alumnus. He never graduated because he was arrested before commencement.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 6, 2017
#DidYouKnow that so many horse thefts occurred on campus that Pinkerton setup a large satellite office across from campus?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 6, 2017
Happy Wednesday! Three more days until your roommate’s death will no longer mean a 4.0!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 6, 2017
Next week is dead week. Not dead as in possibly your roommate, but dead as in no classes and no finals yet. #HudsonUFinals
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 5, 2017
Happy Tuesday! Just four more days until the cutoff for getting a 4.0 if your roommate dies. Or you could study!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 5, 2017
Our lawyers would like us to clarify- we weren’t suggesting anything with that last tweet. We were just saying...
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 4, 2017
Happy Monday! One more week until finals- and five more days until the cut off for getting a 4.0 if your roommate dies. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 4, 2017
#DidYouKnow that the “Angel of Mercy” working at Hudson Med is most likely inactive now? #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 3, 2017
Campus has been quiet today. Too quiet....
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 3, 2017
In this season of sharing, please consider donating to Hudson University! The hefty legal fees that our professors have created for us with their wrongdoing is beginning to cause financial problems for us. #DonateToHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 3, 2017
#DidYouKnow that you only get a 4.0 for the quarter if your roommate dies in the next week? If they die after 5PM on Friday, it’s too late! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 3, 2017
Happy Sunday! Finals begin in a week! Are you ready?!? #FinalsWeek
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 3, 2017
The bar at the Hudson U Hotel will be closed until further notice due to a “Hazmat Situation” being investigated by the major case bureau.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 2, 2017
If our grad students have to pay higher taxes, we’ll help them out by letting them collect tips from the undergraduates they teach. It’s a win/win! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 2, 2017
Is there a Dateline NBC Mystery tonight? Is it about us? #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 2, 2017
Happy Saturday! Are you ready for finals? No? Too bad, they’re on the way! #HudsonUFinals
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 2, 2017
We’ll have less campus police out there tonight, so please behave!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 1, 2017
Our campus Internet was not down today. We just all arrived at work late this morning. Is it Friday yet? It is?!?!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) December 1, 2017