Our financial situation was so bad a few months back that our board of regents almost sold our campus off to the Sally Struthers Correspondence School. TV/VCR Repair almost became a Hudson major. #WeekendNewsDump
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 30, 2018
It’s a perfect weekend to make controversial announcements since nobody is paying attention. #DidYouKnow that our Dean of Finance is missing along with $3,000,000 and our accreditation documentation? #HaveUSeenDeanMacaluso
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 30, 2018
Tomorrow, Briscoe’s is offering a special all you can eat Brunch consisting of whatever is left in campus freezers now that the school year is over. Yum?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 30, 2018
Hudson University does not have an official fireworks display on Independence Day, though since we have no security staff on duty for the next week, our campus is often used by people shooting off illegal fireworks. #HudsonFourth
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 30, 2018
#DidYouKnow that Hudson University has its own volunteer fire department? If you see a fire, you are required to “volunteer” by grabbing a bucket and hose and get to work!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 30, 2018
It’s Saturday and quiet out there! Looking to celebrate U.S. Independence Day? Why not buy one of our gold fringed flags? Now 90% off!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 30, 2018
Have a great weekend folks, and please help keep our campus clean! We need to impress our new students who begin arriving soon for Orientation. We also need to convince them that they didn’t just make the biggest mistake of their lives. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 30, 2018
We don’t know who put up that banner that reads “If You Murdered Here, You’d Be Home By Now!” at the residence hall, but it has been removed. Plus, we don’t think it makes much sense.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 29, 2018
We can confirm that the crazed guy running a three card Monte game out of the Rose Garden is a real Hudson professor, though not a very good one. That means he’s like most Hudson Professors, we guess. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 29, 2018
The eccentric gentleman handing out Orientation flyers on the Hudson quad is really NYPD Detective Robert Goren, apparently investigating something. Don’t trust him! He figures out your weakness and exploits it until you confess. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 29, 2018
Hey, Freshmen parents! Are you sending your students to Hudson for orientation in two weeks? Make sure they pack mace AND tasers. We’ll explain why during the Freshman Orientation Welcome Breakfast. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 29, 2018
As you prepare for your 4th of July BBQs, may we suggest having plenty of Hudson’s Official Soft Drink on hand? SavingsMart’s Creme Soda is semi-proudly served on campus because Coke & Pepsi wanted nothing to do with Hudson. SavingsMart Creme Soda- When Nothing Else is Available!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 29, 2018
We still have surplus U.S. Flags for sale in the bookstore- now 75% off! They’ve got gold fringe on them, but that doesn’t really mean anything. #HudsonConspiracy
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 29, 2018
Can you believe it’s already Friday and almost July? For the next week our “That wasn’t gunfire, that was fireworks” Excuse will even be believable! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 29, 2018
Hey, at least Hudson is the best at something! #HudsonUPride pic.twitter.com/faQRiIS7d5
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 28, 2018
Does anyone know a good shredding company, one that has a semi truck with a shredder built into it? #Asking4AFriend
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 28, 2018
#DidYouKnow that class credit earned at Hudson can be transferred to a prison degree? Turn your unfortunate Hudson experience into a genuine degree from a slightly accredited prison college! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 28, 2018
#ThrowbackThursday Remember when DA Jack McCoy declared war on our obstructionist policies? We think we won that battle. pic.twitter.com/t9ZMOJdjC1
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 28, 2018
It’s Thursday and we’re still welcoming true crime shows and newsmagazines who are looking for tranquil B-Roll of our campus. We guarantee a tranquil campus with no horrific crime scenes- or we’ll refund 5% of your film permit fees!* (*Exclusions apply, not a real guarantee.)
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 28, 2018
Our Rose Garden is also available for B-Roll filming! “It looks like a peaceful, calm place of dreams. But on one fateful night it was a living nightmare.” (Hey true crime shows, you looking for writers?) #HudsonBroll
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 27, 2018
We’re issuing filming permits for those true crime shows seeking to contrast “a quiet, ivy covered campus right out of a Norman Rockwell painting” against “the noisy, bloody rampage that looked like it was right out of a Freddy Krueger film” #HudsonBroll
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 27, 2018
We would like to announce that now is a perfect time for newsmagazines, true crime networks and crime documentaries to get great B-Roll of our empty campus, since everyone has gone home for the summer! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 27, 2018
It’s Wednesday and our efforts to clean up our campus are paying off! It’s almost presentable! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 27, 2018
The “Hudson Murder Tour” is not affiliated with Hudson University, though the tour guide does make some nice “donations” so that we look the other way. #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 26, 2018
It is not true that the vast majority of serial klllers have an association with Hudson University. Only about 45% do, which is obviously less than 50%. #HudsonUMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 26, 2018
#DidYouKnow that you can leave money to Hudson University in your will? Contact our development office for more information. The high murder rate among those who have left us money is a total coincidence. #Donate2Hudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 26, 2018
It’s Tuesday! We’re busy getting campus presentable for the upcoming freshmen orientations. Don’t make any messes, folks! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 26, 2018
Contrary to popular belief, Leopold and Loeb never attended Hudson University, though they did try a few of our Criminal Studies correspondence courses. We’re about 14% certain that the courses didn’t inspire them, however. #HudsonUMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 25, 2018
Hey incoming freshmen- the allegations in this video are (mostly) untrue. https://t.co/MPVDaoeIZN
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 25, 2018
A Hudson Freshmen tip: Memorize the Hudson Police phone number for non-emergencies- (212) 555-SAFE! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 25, 2018
Hudson University would like to apologize to the Academic Senate. “Sugar Pops” was indeed an inappropriate place to have a faculty meeting.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 25, 2018
It’s the start of a new week! Remember- Freshmen Orientations begin soon! Have you signed up yet? #HudsonBound pic.twitter.com/FyYqq9NTeS
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 25, 2018
If you’ve read today’s New York Ledger article about Hudson, it’s all lies. If you didn’t read it, it’s not worth your time. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 24, 2018
Today is CrimeTV’s Campus Sunday with a day full of college related crimes. The vast majority of them took place on the Hudson campus, so keep an eye out for shots of our beautiful campus! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 24, 2018
Our PR Department says that a lazy Sunday is a great day to report bad news as well! In other news, our accounting office was raided by the FBI on Friday. #HudsonPRTips
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 24, 2018
Hey kids! The Hudson Paleontology Department Museum is like a real life Jurassic Park, except you’ll just see dinosaur bones and barely operable animatronics from the 1980’s. Stop by- our campus is safer in the summertime!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 24, 2018
It’s Sunday! Since campus is so quiet, Briscoe’s Cafe is having its legendary Summer Sunday Brunch with unlimited mimosas and brunch! Please drink responsibly, though we technically don’t have to report crimes that take place in the summer, so go wild.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 24, 2018
Happy Pride Weekend! Hudson University supports our LGBTQ Students, Faculty and Staff! (We had to convince our clueless Associate Dean that “Hudson University Appreciates the Gays” was not an appropriate slogan.) pic.twitter.com/zavzHX7xNW
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 23, 2018
Contrary to popular belief, the most dangerous spot in New York City is not located on the Hudson campus; it’s the NYC courthouse steps. You’re about .09% more likely to get shot there than on our campus. #HudsonMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 23, 2018
Our crack PR team would like to point out that today would be a great day to release bad information because of how quiet it is out there. Also, we might have understated crimes committed on campus by a substantial margin. #BadNewsDump
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 23, 2018
Happy Saturday! Things are quiet on campus today- you could dump a body anywhere and nobody would probably catch you doing it. Not that you should do it. But if you did, it would be pretty easy to escape undetected. #JustSaying
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 23, 2018
Our Hudson PR team has a tip for you- always dump bad news on a quiet Friday afternoon to avoid getting too much bad publicity, hiding it with other unrelated information. In other news, the Hudson pension plan is no longer solvent. #HudsonPRTips
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 22, 2018
We’re always on the lookout for new faculty members! For some reason, they don’t seem to last very long around here...
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 22, 2018
Now this is a Dateline NBC meme we really like! pic.twitter.com/kmOoGgCekt
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 22, 2018
Today is the 30th Anniversary Of “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”! If you’re taking Criminal Studies 15B during Summer Session, you can learn all about how to frame someone yourself! #RogerRabbit #SummerSession
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 22, 2018
It’s Friday! It’s always nice to be on campus during the summer when school is out of session and our crime rate goes down. Though we’re guessing the hometowns of our students are seeing spikes in crime.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 22, 2018
“Good Will Hunting” was inspired by a real custodian who worked at Hudson, but instead of being a math prodigy, he was a prodigious murderer.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 21, 2018
There are no strange experiments happening in our super secret underground laboratories. We don’t know why students make up stories about our confidential laboratories of Mystery!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 21, 2018
#ThrowbackThursday Remember when we discovered that Professor Nicole Wallace was a fraud and a murderer? pic.twitter.com/TI8e8M8yZL
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 21, 2018
It’s Thursday! So far you’ve kept crime to a minimum this offseason. Let’s keep it up! (Keep crime down that is- keep up keeping crime down.) Does this make sense?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 21, 2018
The body in the Rose Garden is real! Please stop tromping around to take selfies with it. You’re being disrespectful & destroying evidence.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 20, 2018
We’ll be testing various alarms, sirens and warning lights today, so please don’t panic if you hear or see anything strange today. (Stranger than usual, that is...)
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 20, 2018
Remember, we need YOUR donations to keep Hudson a top flight university! #Donate2Hudson pic.twitter.com/nCHb23ezaf
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 20, 2018
Happy Wednesday! We love this time of year, because no students on campus means no controversies and fewer crimes. #HudsonSummers
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 20, 2018
Hudson didn’t host a “Murder Lab” in 1892. There was a building where lots of murders happened, but it wasn’t a lab. #HudsonMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 19, 2018
The irradiated squirrels have been contained and campus security has re-taken control of Tripley Hall. #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 19, 2018
ALERT: The irradiated squirrels have taken over Tripley Hall. Don’t worry, however, because they are not dangerous. (we think)
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 19, 2018
Happy Tuesday! Please avoid crossing through the quad today. Some irradiated squirrels escaped Tripley Lab and are very aggressive. Our maintenance staff has told us that they will be removing the squirrels when they feel like it.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 19, 2018
We found our current Fake Identity instructor after she fooled us into thinking she was a real doctor and worked at Hudson Med for over five years. Rather than just fire her for fraud, we found a more appropriate job for her. #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 18, 2018
The constant litigation being brought against Hudson University and its students, staff and faculty have brought the Hudson endowment to all time lows. Your donations can replenish our endowment and ensure that future generations will get top flight attorneys! #CampaignForHudson pic.twitter.com/wrl9A4IMbp
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 18, 2018
What will your donations be used for? How about important climate change research? Our researchers concentrate on studying how climate change affects the production of caviar, ensuring that Park Avenue parties will always be able to serve caviar. #CampaignForHudson pic.twitter.com/hdqDpfisbt
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 18, 2018
Hudson University is embarking on an ambitious new campaign to raise money! Our Chancellor has challenged our campus to raise two billion dollars over the next two years. What does this mean for alumni, students, faculty and staff? Screen your calls! #CampaignForHudson pic.twitter.com/THxqODFI8E
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 18, 2018
Happy Monday! Stay tuned for a special announcement from our Chancellor later today! He’s still at an undisclosed location for safety reasons and because he’s dodging process servers! #SummerTimeAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 18, 2018
#YouKnowYouAreAHudsonGrad pic.twitter.com/nsNb5Rnm4r
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 17, 2018
#YouKnowYouAreAHudsonGrad pic.twitter.com/upVwSpSsSJ
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 17, 2018
#YouKnowYouAreAHudsonGrad pic.twitter.com/RL3Fy8SlZ9
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 17, 2018
It’s not too late to get dad something special! Show him you appreciate how he used his connections to get you out of jams by buying him this amazing T-Shirt! pic.twitter.com/Runt7qSp9R
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 17, 2018
Congratulations, new Hudson Grads! #YouKnowYouAreAHudsonGrad pic.twitter.com/T8ARfyqAFv
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 17, 2018
Happy Sunday! It’s very quiet out there.... too quiet. #HudsonSunday
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 17, 2018
Retired Detective John Munch’s accusation that Hudson helped the CIA with its MK-ULTRA testing is 100% false. Hudson didn’t “help” the CIA; it actually took the lead in the MK-Ultra testing. #HudsonUMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 16, 2018
We’re currently hosing down the quad after last night’s “celebrations”. Please avoid the area unless you want to get powerblasted with reclaimed water.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 16, 2018
We’re currently hosting down the quad after last night’s “celebrations”. Please avoid the area unless you want to get powerblasted with reclaimed water.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 16, 2018
Due to staff incompetence, we discovered that yesterday’s graduates were handed real diplomas instead of the participation certificates. Since we never verified that the graduates had actually earned their degrees yet, could you all please return them to us? #PleasePleasePlease
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 16, 2018
Did you leave behind items in your dorm room yesterday? If the items were deemed worthless, you should be able to reclaim them from the dumpsters behind the residence halls! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 16, 2018
Happy Saturday! What a day, huh? Are you all hung over from graduation day celebrations? We sure are! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 16, 2018
Thank you for congratulating our new graduates! As it turns out we did beat last year’s class with just a 37.65% incarceration rate! #HudsonUPride https://t.co/vwocMi4toJ
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Finally, the commencement ceremony has ended. Did you park in parking structure 56? Your car was probably broken into. #HudsonUCares #NotResponsible4LostOrStolenArticles
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Sadly, Detective Munch’s speech has come to an end. And what an ending! Who thought he’d work in both the sinister Denver International Airport and Laurel Canyon conspiracies into one Mega-Conspiracy? Do we have to stick around for the boring part? We do, but you don’t! #SeeYa
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Detective Munch is incorrect- WiFi is not a mind control device used by Google and Microsoft to make people buy things they don’t need. Did you know that the X-Box is X-treme fun for the whole family? Use campus WiFi now to connect to Google Shopping & order one today!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Is it too late to announce that Detective Munch’s opinions are his own and do not necessarily reflect those of Hudson University, its faculty, staff and management? #LegalBoilerPlate, #HudsonGrad
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Okay, Billy Tripley is a disgusting waste of a human life and Hudson should be embarrassed to accept his money, but he’s certainly not a reverse vampire as Detective Munch claimed. #HudsonGrad
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
We did not program you all to be mindless automatons like Detective Munch just claimed. Mindless automatons could not do the horrific things Hudson programs its students to do. #HudsonGrad
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
To the best of our knowledge, our Chancellor is not reptilian like Detective Munch just claimed. The Chancellor is corrupt and repellant, however. #HudsonGrad
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Detective Munch is incorrect; Hudson is not run by the Illuminati. They cut ties with us years ago because they said we were too corrupt for even them. #HudsonGrad
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Finally- it’s NYPD Detective John Munch! We can’t wait to hear what this guy has to say. #ConspiracyTheories #HudsonGrad
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
He just said “Webster’s Dictionary defines criminal behavior as...” Take a drink! #HudsonGrad #GraduationDrinkingGame
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
The Chancellor just embarrassed himself by referring to “The Tweeter” and “The SpaceFace”. We’re not worried about him seeing this because as you can see, he knows nothing about “The Cyber”. #HudsonGrad
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Now our Chancellor is welcoming the parents and graduates to the ceremony. He’s speaking via satellite from an undisclosed location to elude process servers and avoid being dramatically confronted by NYPD Detective Robert Goren. #HudsonGrad
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
The Hudson Commencement begins with the Professorial Procession. Only the most ethical, highly regarded professors are allowed to march in at this time. Since this is Hudson, the procession is very short. #HudsonGrad
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Welcome to the TRIPLEY TOYS ARENA at HUDSON UNIVERSITY! Yeah, the logo skeeves us out too, but his family gave us a ton of money, so we just live with it. #HudsonGrad pic.twitter.com/pLIqoc5rui
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
To honor John Munch’s request, photography will be strictly prohibited inside Hudson’s Tripley Toys Arena during his speech. To give you an idea of what it might look like were you inside we present this hastily photoshopped image. pic.twitter.com/laxDYgBDdt
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Today, Hudson will be proudly hosting Retired NYPD Detective and noted conspiracy theorist John Munch as our guest speaker at commencement in just one hour! #HudsonGrad
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Congratulations, Hudson Graduates! Attending the commencement ceremony today? Please use parking structure 56. Parking elsewhere might result in your vehicle getting towed or (most likely) stolen. #HudsonGrad pic.twitter.com/4HOEgyI6o2
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 15, 2018
Due to budget cuts, Hudson Security will be off duty during the summer break. Looking to spend a lot of time on campus over the summer? Why not buy an official Hudson taser?#HudsonUCares pic.twitter.com/jB1W50dCO6
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 14, 2018
“As you make your way out to the real world...” #GenericGraduationPhrases
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 14, 2018
#ThrowbackThursday Remember when famed mystery author JB Fletcher taught classes at Hudson? The murder rate allegedly dropped in her hometown of Cabot Cove while she was in NYC. #DunDunDun pic.twitter.com/Jzm0sGynDW
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 14, 2018
“As you begin the next phase of your life...” #GenericGraduationPhrases
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 14, 2018
To clarify our automatic A policy- your professor has to be indicted or arrested BEFORE your final. If they are arrested after your final exam, no automatic A. #HudsonMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 14, 2018
“Webster’s Dictionary defines commencement as...” #GenericGraduationPhrases
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 14, 2018
It’s Thursday and the last day of finals! You know what that means? You have to be out of the dorms by noon tomorrow! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 14, 2018
As it turns out, the Hudson chancellor will be present at commencement this weekend- live via satellite from an undisclosed location! Why won’t he come to campus? He’s paranoid about getting served by snotty process servers or confronted by eccentric detectives. #OnlyAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 13, 2018
Are you looking for a fun place to serve your community service sentence? Fun places are probably full, so why not volunteer for something at Hudson? We’ll even let you work in the child care center. Those juvenile delinquents could use an example of their futures!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 13, 2018
Do you like corn dogs? You’d better, because that’s all we’re serving in the dining commons. Someone bought a bunch of corn dogs!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 13, 2018
Happy Wednesday! Professor Jessica MacMasters has been arrested for running a fight club out of her campus laboratory and embezzling student funds. The good news? If you’re taking one of her classes, you get an automatic A! #OnlyAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 13, 2018
#DidYouKnow that if your professor gets arrested or indicted before he or she turns in your final grades, you get an automatic A?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 12, 2018
Do you have a Hudson parking permit? Apparently it’s time to renew it for the next school year, Mr. and Mrs. Moneybags! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 12, 2018
At Hudson University, everyone is a VIP! However, our administrators and managers are more I than any of you P. #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 12, 2018
It’s Tuesday! Finals begin today- are you ready? No? Too bad because they’re here whether you like it or not! #HudsonFinals
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 12, 2018
Please stop taking cans & bottles from campus recycling bins. We’re planning to return those to the recycling center so we can make payroll this week. #HudsonUniversity
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 11, 2018
We’ve been notified that our campus does not have adequate lighting on most of the major paths. This has created a security issue that we will address as soon as our new fiscal year begins- 7/1/2018. Until then take a Mag-Lite flashlight with you. It’s a good weapon to use!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 11, 2018
We are clamping down on students selling answer keys to Hudson Finals. Purchase official Hudson Final “study guides” instead. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 11, 2018
Happy Monday! Summer is almost here, but you have to get past Finals Week first! Not sure you’re ready for Finals? Our professors do accept “tips”. #wink
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 11, 2018
Have you seen those creepy mimes wandering around campus? If so, could you ask them what it is that they want?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 10, 2018
#DidYouKnow Hudson University provides free legal services to students? This benefit is one of the most used on campus!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 10, 2018
Again we ask that you stop dyeing the water in our various fountains red. It creeps everyone out and isn’t funny.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 10, 2018
Some people claim our school’s motto should be “Where criminals go to school”, but maybe it should be “Some of our students aren’t criminals.” #HudsonUMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 10, 2018
Happy Sunday! “Dead Week” ends on Tuesday when finals begin! So it’s more of a “Dead Extended Weekend” than an actual “Dead Week”. Still referring to days in which no classes take place and not actual Dead people.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 10, 2018
Please stop nominating that crazy guy from the Rose Garden for Hudson Professor of the Month. He is a lecturer and thus ineligible.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 9, 2018
#DidYouKnow that the campus waste disposal department has just been pretending to recycle all these years? The Hudson Administration Group is shocked at this revelation and promises to hide scandals such as this one better in the future. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 9, 2018
Have you ever had the “Finals Week Special” at Briscoe’s? It’s basically just leftovers because once summer begins, business at Briscoe’s drops off and we need to get rid of a ton of food.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 9, 2018
Were you taking Business Ethics 110A? Your professor was just indicted for insider trading, so your final has been canceled and you all get A grades! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 9, 2018
Happy Saturday! It would be a wonderful weekend if Finals weren’t next week, right? #HudsonFinals
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 9, 2018
We never release actual counts of how many 4.0s we hand out due to a roommate dying, but we can say (proudly) that we gave out .035% LESS than we did last school year! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 8, 2018
As we approach Finals Week, please remember that our professors do not take bribes. They do accept tips, however.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 8, 2018
Welcome to Hudson’s Dead Week! (“Dead” meaning no classes scheduled, not actual dead people.) #HudsonDeadWeek
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 8, 2018
Happy Friday! The Spring 2018 quarter is officially over! Congratulations to all of you who officially survived! #Hudson2018
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 8, 2018
Attention graduates: Scalping Hudson commencement tickets by students is not permitted. Only the Hudson management team is allowed to scalp those tickets. #HudsonUniversity
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 7, 2018
We’re not sure why Waze is refusing to guide drivers to Hudson University because the app claims that our campus is allegedly a “high crime area” but we are working on getting that changed. Anyone know someone at Waze?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 7, 2018
#ThrowbackThursday Remember when a group of students actively campaigned to make Keith Morrison the new Hudson University Dean of Students. Imagine if we’d actually made Keith Morrison the Dean of Students? That would have been wild! pic.twitter.com/NMNHVBl1d2
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 7, 2018
Happy Thursday! It’s the last day of instruction, which means your roommate must die before 11:59PM TONIGHT in order for you to get a 4.0. Otherwise, you’d better make use of “Dead Week” to study for finals! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) June 7, 2018