The stories about Hudson’s founders being bloodthirsty pirates who murdered everyone who got in their way and hid vast amounts of gold in underground catacombs where it remains to this day are untrue. The gold was removed years ago and deposited at Chase Bank in a “trust fund”.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 31, 2018
#DidYouKnow that Hudson University computers are banned from accessing eBay because too many of our students were committing fraud? In fact, that’s why you need to use a VPN to access most websites from campus.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 31, 2018
Hey new alumni- that e-mail you received asking for $250 to print up your diploma isn’t a scam. You must pay $250 if you ever want to receive your diploma. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 31, 2018
Are there any unnamed objects around campus that you’d like to name after yourself? We’ll name anything after you if you donate enough money. Support Hudson by getting an irradiated rat or trash can named after you! #DonateToHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 31, 2018
The character of “Slenderman” was not based on a murderous Hudson University professor as commonly believed. It was a murderous Hudson University custodian. #HudsonMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 31, 2018
#DidYouKnow that Hudson University is now *safer* than going into a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 31, 2018
It’s Tuesday! Have you ever used your credit card anywhere on campus? Contact your bank to cancel it immediately! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 31, 2018
Looking for a unique gift? Why not adopt an irradiated squirrel from Tripley Hall for just $250? Of course, there are very good reasons why you shouldn’t, but we really need the cash.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 30, 2018
Attn: Tour Guides- please do not take prospective students through fraternity row, into the Rose Garden, past Tripley Hall or- on second thought, it is probably best to keep them in the welcome center.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 30, 2018
#DidYouKnow that 3 out of 5 people associated with Hudson University regret their decision to take a job or accept their admission offer? That means 2 out of 5 people either enjoy being associated with Hudson or are indifferent!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 30, 2018
Hey, Amish kids- Looking for a place to go buck wild for your Rumspringa? #WhyNotHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 30, 2018
Hudson Tour Guides: Please stop calling Kelner Hall “Killer Hall” and Kincaid Hall “Kill-Caid Hall”. That last one is a bit of a stretch guys!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 30, 2018
Contrary to this morning’s Ledger article, Enron Hall is not named after the disgraced Texas energy company. It is named after “Enron Holdings Company, LLC”, which was responsible for poisoning wells, not financial misconduct. #HudsonMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 30, 2018
Happy Monday! That stench you currently engulfing the Rose Garden is not related to a grisly murder- for once. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 30, 2018
We hate to scare everyone, but apparently the Rat Lab monkeys were smart enough to realize that we’d be distracted by the Hudson “Crime & Punishment” rerun that they took advantage of it to start a fire. Wow, even the Hudson test monkeys are criminals! #OnlyAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
This has been an exciting day! Hudson was featured on television and apparently the Rat Lab burned down. Don’t worry, folks, no rats are located in the Rat Lab. There are monkeys there, however, but they are all safe. And technically arsonists. #OnlyAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Okay, that’s it, folks! Sure, the episode might have been melodramatic and not very believable, but they paid us a lot of money to film here, so we give it an A++++! #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
This scene with the real life Faith Yancey congratulating Charo, Joey Fatone, Bronson Pinchot and Vincent D’Onofrio for solving the case isn’t believable at all. She never congratulates anyone for anything and won’t step on campus without two bodyguards. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Hmm, no shock there. The killer really was the guy from that one show where they got lost somehow and then there were murders and he wore a hat, we think. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Hmm, this area they’re calling the seedier part of campus actually looks a lot cleaner and less dangerous than it normally does in real life. They did a good job of cleaning it up for television. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Hey, it’s that guy! You know, the guy from that show where everyone was lost or something and he always wore a hat. As the only recognizable guest actor, we’re guessing he did it. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
#FunFact Keith Morrison can be seen in the background of this scene, but he wasn’t here to be on this show. He was researching an unrelated future episode of Dateline NBC. Oh look, there’s Josh Mankiewicz too. #AnotherCoincidence #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Wow, this detective played by Vincent D’Onofrio is a real nut case. He reminds us of a real NYPD Detective named Robert Goren. Though this detective isn’t quite as crazy as Goren. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Heather Locklear as a assistant professor? And she’s eating lunch at the dining commons wearing Chanel? Our assistant professors could never afford such expensive clothing and they most certainly wouldn’t be eating in the dining commons. Yuck! #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Yikes, another body found on the Branch Hall steps? That’s crazy, because hardly anyone ever dumps bodies there! Patricia Arquette as the East Hudson Dean is believable, though our deans and chancellors rarely step foot on our campus after dark. Too dangerous. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Hmm, Joey Fatone & Bronson Pinchot are campus detectives? That’s stranger than Charo as a coroner. Chris Colfer isn’t believable as an undercover cop disguised as a street tough East Hudson student either. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Now here’s Charo as the East Hudson coroner. Weird that a college would have its own coroner. Even stranger that she’s wearing a gold lamé jumpsuit while examining the body. We don’t have our own coroner, though an NYC coroner is assigned solely to our campus. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
It’s Jennie Garth as ADA Kent from the C&P mothership! Notice how she carefully refers to the campus as “East Hudson University”? That’s because the show takes place at a fake college and not the real Hudson. Apparently the producers knew what was good for them. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
And they found a body! This is another exaggeration, because our real students are so used to finding dead bodies on campus, they rarely scream like that. Plus this crime scene is very pristine compared to a real Hudson one. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
There’s the legendary “Crime & Punishment” gong sound! These students are walking through our famed Rose Garden- the site of many beautiful weddings and some gruesome murders. You can tell these are actors because our students are more cautious and carry tasers. #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
It’s time! We’re so excited to see Hudson featured on television in a fictional show instead of a true crime documentary for once! #CrimePunishment pic.twitter.com/RBQd5PMyXq
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Oh, other stuff is happening on campus- important research, arson, controversial studies, blah, blah- the most important thing is that we’ll be featured on ATV in just a few minutes! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Anyone else excited to see Hudson on TV today? Most of the time we’re featured on the evening news, or Dateline NBC or 48 Hours Mysteries, but today campus will be featured on a fictional crime show- for once!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Will you be on campus today? Briscoe’s will be tuning every television in the restaurant into “Crime & Punishment” at 1PM! Enjoy brunch AND a Crime! This time the only crime on campus will be fictional! #CrimePunishment
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Happy Sunday! We’ve got a special treat today! We discovered that “ATV: American TV” will be showing a marathon of “Crime & Punishment” Episodes today, including the one filmed entirely at Hudson University! It will air at 1PM EDT today and we’ll be tweeting along like last time! pic.twitter.com/q8LRtKoGht
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
On behalf of Dean Gilmore and the entire board of Hudson University, we would like to apologize to NYPD Detective Robert Goren for Dean Gilmore’s unfortunate comments to the NY Ledger about Det. Goren being a “Nut job” and “unstable”. Though have you met that guy? <Cuckoo>!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 29, 2018
Can you shout ‘You can’t go in there!’ at NYPD officers barging into executive offices? Apply to be a Hudson executive assistant! #WorkAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 28, 2018
Did you just receive your doctorate and are willing to teach classes for a quarter of what a real professor makes? We’re hiring!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 28, 2018
There are no serial killers currently active on the Hudson University campus... we think. #HudsonUMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 28, 2018
Hudson didn’t host a “Murder Lab” in 1892. There was a building where lots of murders happened, but it wasn’t a lab. #HudsonMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 28, 2018
Remember the film “Hudson Homicide”? They said it was based on a true story, but they got a lot wrong. The murderous professor never killed any of his own students, just random people around campus. Plus, he was much taller than Al Pacino. #HudsonMythBusting pic.twitter.com/8rtT3x53dN
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 28, 2018
It’s Saturday morning and it looks like nobody embarrassed themselves or Hudson last night. Good job, let’s keep it up! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 28, 2018
ALERT: That fake In-N-Out truck on the quad is serving up subpoenas- not hamburgers. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 27, 2018
Have you seen any aggressive, irradiated squirrels on campus? Please return them to Tripley Hall, where no strange experiments are happening.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 27, 2018
We have an upcoming Job Fair for alumni! See reps from companies willing to hire our graduates, like Wells Fargo, New Enron, SeaWorld & more #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 27, 2018
The crazy guy ranting in front of Schiff Hall is NOT a philosophy professor like he claims. He’s actually a math professor.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 27, 2018
It is not true that insane, homicidal child actress “Baby Jane” Hudson is a Hudson University alumna. She did attend Hudson, but she never graduated. Also, the school is not named after her wealthy grandfather, though he did “donate” money right before we accepted her.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 27, 2018
Billy Tripley’s lawyers would like us to remind you that he donates money to Hudson University. He’s still very creepy, though. pic.twitter.com/kATpx0TnN6
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 27, 2018
Hudson admins hate a Hudson related #MankMeme, but we love ‘em! pic.twitter.com/KHiydLfnbw
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 27, 2018
Yay, it’s Friday! If you’re on campus tonight, please don’t go buck wild- we still have incoming freshmen on campus for orientation. #PleaseBeCool
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 27, 2018
It has come to our attention that we may have inferred that famed novelist Jessica Fletcher was responsible for all the murders in Cabot Cove that she allegedly “solved”. As her lawyer pointed out to us in a heated phone discussion, she has never been accused of any murders.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 27, 2018
#DidYouKnow that John Carpenter was inspired to write “Escape From New York” after taking a tour of Hudson University? #HudsonUPride #FunFact
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 26, 2018
#DidYouKnow that most jailhouse lawyers who represent themselves are Hudson Alumni? #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 26, 2018
ALERT: Process servers have been spotted on campus. They’re in disguise, so beware of strangers offering you anything. These process servers are particularly smug, so be careful out there! #DontGetServed
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 26, 2018
We are not having a hot dog barbecue in the quad today. We don’t know who the people serving those hot dogs are, what is in those hot dogs or why they are serving them for free. #OnlyAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 26, 2018
There’s something magical going on in our Rose Garden this afternoon! So please don’t mess it up by dumping a body there. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 26, 2018
This meme isn’t specifically about Hudson, but we thought it was hilarious. And appropriate. #DatelineMeme pic.twitter.com/oBxN210sFy
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 26, 2018
It’s Thursday! A quick note- did you donate money to Hudson only to find out that we used your money for a costly legal settlement and want your money back? Please be advised: all donations are final. #DonateToHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 26, 2018
ALERT: Another Murder has NOT taken place in the Rose Garden. Our top notch Crime Scene Investigation Certificate program is just setting up a fake crime scene for a hands-on training class. We think.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 25, 2018
We’re considering naming our Rose Garden after past Hudson lecturer Jessica “J.B.” Fletcher. Hopefully that will stop people from using its unofficial nickname- “Murder Marsh”, which is ridiculous, because the ground is quite firm and not at all marshy.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 25, 2018
The NYPD has cleared our Rose Garden! Free ice cream for everyone! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 25, 2018
Wow, there’s already a meme about today’s Rose Garden “discovery”. #MankMeme pic.twitter.com/x2MatFEhbb
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 25, 2018
#DidYouKnow that Hudson University somehow inspired the movie “Jaws”? Apparently the murderous Shark was based on a Hudson professor who murdered random people in a University pool.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 25, 2018
Do you need a decent place on campus to take parents or guests? Why not try Briscoe’s Restaurant? It looks classy and it passed its latest health department inspection!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 25, 2018
It’s Wednesday! The week is halfway over and the NYPD has found half of a victim in our Rose Garden. In happier news, the Hudson Alumni Association will be handing out free ice cream in the Rose Garden after the NYPD clears the scene! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 25, 2018
We’d be happy to consider you! We’ve tightened our vetting process- we now do an aggressive Google search for all candidates!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 25, 2018
The murders that take place in Oxford always seem so much classier than the ones that take place at Hudson. We mean, the ones that allegedly take place at Hudson. And Inspector Morse is much classier than our Detective Goren.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 25, 2018
Cabot Cove, Maine is (coincidentally) the hometown of past guest lecturer JB Fletcher. Come to think of it, murders declined in Cabot Cove when she was at Hudson...
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 25, 2018
Campus tour guides- Please stop referring to campus as “The Most Murderous Place on Earth”. There are other places with far more murders than Hudson University- We Think.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 24, 2018
Note to whomever was cultivating marijuana in the arboretum: the squirrels got into your stash and are aggressively looking for food.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 24, 2018
Help us keep your campus safe! If you see something, say something. Unless it involves Hudson University management or is scandalous. In that case, if you see something, report to Branch Hall for your new “scholarship”. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 24, 2018
#DidYouKnow that President Woodrow Wilson refused an honorary doctorate from Hudson because he didn’t want to be associated with our University?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 24, 2018
#DidYouKnow that all students are guaranteed a space in our residence halls? In fact, we have a hard time filling them because our students don’t want to stay on campus for some unknown reason.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 24, 2018
Remember this Hudson themed Lifetime movie? They sure made a lot of them like this! pic.twitter.com/qyOhzjxQeH
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 24, 2018
It’s Tuesday and the power is back on! It wasn’t too hot yesterday, was it? Special thanks to Dr. Cliff Huxtable, whose transgressions we’re currently ignoring.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 24, 2018
Due to Dr. Huxtable’s suspicious “donation”, our dean of students will be writing a letter of recommendation for him, stating that he is a man of high moral character. You’d better enjoy that AC, ‘cause our dean just sold his soul for you all...
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 23, 2018
Thanks to a special “donation” from Hudson Med alumnus Cliff Huxtable, we have gotten the power turned back on. Summer Session Classes and orientation will resume as usual tomorrow morning. #ThanksCliffHuxtable
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 23, 2018
Okay, it turns out that there isn’t a real power outage; someone just forgot to pay the power bill again. Anyone have $45,000 that can be quickly wired to ConEdison ASAP?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 23, 2018
The power is apparently not out across the street from campus, so maybe McDonald’s will let you bum air conditioning from them.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 23, 2018
Hey guys, the power is out on campus! They’re sending us home, but you guys staying in the dorms will have to tough it out. #SorryGuys
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 23, 2018
Attention: Did you park your orange Prius in the Hudson south lot? You left your lights on. And your car was stolen. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 22, 2018
#DidYouKnow that most of our faculty members have never been arrested? According to police records, only about 48.63% of them have been arrested. #HudsonMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 22, 2018
Hey, incoming freshmen- do you like Craigmont cream soda? Hopefully you do, because that’s what we serve in the dining commons. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 22, 2018
The siren you are currently hearing on campus is an arson alarm and not the murder siren. Though that might change if any bodies are found in the rubble. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 22, 2018
Do like Robby Boren- #Donate2Hudson ! pic.twitter.com/FKfaSFMjmp
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 22, 2018
Did you swim in the Hudson pool yesterday? Hopefully your polio vaccinations are up to date. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 22, 2018
It’s Sunday Funday for everyone else but us! We’re at work today. Yay, Hudson?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 22, 2018
Taking a job at Hudson University can be prestigious and rewarding. Plus, most of your payroll checks won’t bounce! #WorkAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 21, 2018
Taking a job at Hudson University can be prestigious an rewarding. Plus, most of your payroll checks won’t bounce! #WorkAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 21, 2018
#DidYouKnow that 8 out of 10 bizarre new cults are formed by Hudson students/alumni/staff/faculty? Get in on the ground floor of the next new cult *before* Dateline NBC profiles it- come to Hudson! #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 21, 2018
Still wondering what to do with your extra cash? Be like ADA Rafael Barba and give it to us! It’s tax deductible for now! #DonateToHudson pic.twitter.com/hqthx3U5up
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 21, 2018
You never know who you’ll bump into on our campus! That’s why we have an assortment of Hudson University branded tasers in a variety of colors available in the Student Store! When Lindsay Lohan or Randy Quaid won’t take no for an answer, go ahead and tase ‘em!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 21, 2018
We have a special treat for students eating in the dining hall- we have a selection of delicious McDonald’s salads available! They’re packaged up and ready to eat! Enjoy! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 21, 2018
Do you have spare money just lying around your house? Why not donate it to us? Billy Tripley did! pic.twitter.com/eh61Jaqcf8
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 21, 2018
Happy Saturday! Do you get to sleep in this morning and enjoy a wonderful day off? We don’t! Satur-Not-Yay. #HudsonUDoesNotCare
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 21, 2018
Hey, incoming freshmen- do you like ketchup, mustard and hot sauce? We don’t supply those things in the dining commons, so always grab extra from fast food places and bring your own! #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 20, 2018
Have you ever had your credit card information stolen? Chances are, it was a Hudson University Computer Science Major who did it! Consider a degree in Computer Science- visit Gyson Hall!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 20, 2018
There is an illegal three card Monte game going on around campus. If you happen to see it, please tell Professor Riordan that what he’s doing violates campus policy. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 20, 2018
It has come to our attention that a Comic Con panel is taking place in which Hudson University is being discussed as some kind of “Criminal college” Yet again we must point out that we are a university so “Criminal university” is a better description.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 20, 2018
The fake Keith Morrison from yesterday has been apprehended. The dogs, however, have taken over the area around Branch Hall. #Beware pic.twitter.com/UCv0nLIkdZ
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 20, 2018
Hey, incoming freshmen- are you coming for orientation? Love tater tots? We hope so, because the dining commons bought a ton of tater tots!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 20, 2018
Our management found out about that last tweet, so we were (Ahem) hacked. Must be because all of our IT people are at Comic Con. #ThatSoundsBelievable
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 20, 2018
It’s Friday, which is great, because we couldn’t stand another day of being stuck here on this campus, surrounded by all of these criminals. #HudsonSummers
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 20, 2018
#DidYouKnow that Hudson Alumni make more money in their various scams and con jobs than the alumni of any other university? #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 19, 2018
Incoming freshmen: we recommend that you bring two laptops to campus this Fall. You’ll be happy you did after one of them inevitably gets stolen. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 19, 2018
That guy who keeps telling everyone he’s Keith Morrison has earned the loyalty of the wild dog pack that roams campus. So try to stay on his good side, even though we’re about 98% certain he is NOT actually Mr. Morrison. pic.twitter.com/kGFg5oqOSK
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 19, 2018
#ThrowbackThursday They still haven’t caught the Hudson Strangler... pic.twitter.com/IbSV7wNtml
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 19, 2018
#ThrowbackThursday Remember when U.S. News & World Report referred to us as an Ivy League School? #IgnoreTheRest pic.twitter.com/jNJ4WjMhF2
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 19, 2018
It has come to our attention that someone is selling these T-Shirts at Comic Con. They are NOT official Hudson T Shirts- but maybe they should be? pic.twitter.com/HvmMCdO6cf
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 19, 2018
Happy Thursday! It’s a beautiful day on campus- a perfect time to get some marvelous B-Roll for true crime shows based on Hudson crimes!
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 19, 2018
Event planners: have your next event at Hudson! Our auditoriums are state of the art; when your speaker is confronted by an NYPD Detective, your attendees will hear “What is the meaning of this?” & “This is an outrage!” in crystal clear Dolby Surround! #MeetingsAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 18, 2018
#DidYouKnow that Meredith Baxter has filmed so many Lifetime Movies about Hudson crimes that we setup a special dressing room for her? Sadly, the building the dressing room was located in burned to the ground due to arson. Meredith Baxter starred in the film about that crime too.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 18, 2018
Celebrate #NationalCaviarDay by donating a spare thousand to Hudson’s important Caviar Research Facility! pic.twitter.com/Ke9cce5Zz1
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 18, 2018
Hudson University is proud to announce that due to a hefty donation, we’ll be naming our Rose Garden after Dorothea Puente. Not the murderess Dorothea Puente; our Dorothea Puente was a professor at Hudson in the 1970’s. She was also a notorious arsonist. #OnlyAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 18, 2018
Tonight’s discussion of ethics, scheduled to take place at the Sulloway Theater, has been canceled due to a lack of interest. #OnlyAtHudson
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 18, 2018
ALERT: We have heard reports that a crazy cat lady has made the basement of Mobrey Library her home. Since our security staff refuses to go down there, could we get a volunteer to ask her to leave? #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 18, 2018
Have you seen this man? He claims he’s Keith Morrison, but we’re very skeptical. If you stumble upon him, please call campus security immediately. pic.twitter.com/BVs4Zywfj9
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 18, 2018
It’s Wednesday and another group of incoming freshmen will be arriving for orientation, so please be cool, okay guys? #BeCool
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 18, 2018
We really miss recently deceased professor Simon Moore. He was the only person who knew the security code for Branch Hall. We had to take a bat to the alarms so they’d stop going off all the time. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 17, 2018
Attention incoming freshmen- you should refrain from taking pictures with the costumed characters currently frolicking in the quad. Those guys are more aggressive than the ones in Times Square and our security force says we don’t pay them enough to deal with “those freaks”
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 17, 2018
While we did find proof that Russian hackers hacked into our servers, they did not influence the results of the last student body election. They merely stole millions of dollars out of student savings accounts. #HudsonUCares
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 17, 2018
Someone once described Hudson as being like a “crime infested Six Flags”. We see ourselves as being more like Disneyland, except that murders take place here. #HudsonUPride
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 17, 2018
Have you seen Hudson CSI alumnus Dale Stuckey? He escaped from Riker’s Island, so if you run into him, please call 9-1-1 and make him believe that NYPD Detective Olivia Benson will arrive to arrest him. If it doesn’t work, remember that Hudson is not liable for any campus deaths.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 17, 2018
Contrary to popular belief, former DA Arthur Branch never said that he was too scared to set foot on our campus- he said that he was to scared to allow his *grandchildren* to step foot on campus. #HudsonMythBusting
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 17, 2018
Happy Tuesday! We would like to challenge the NY Ledger’s characterization of our campus as a “Dateline NBC segment come to life.” We’ve always pictured our campus as more of an “Unsolved Mysteries” segment come to life.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 17, 2018
#DidYouKnow that so many crazy, unexplained things happen at Hudson that the Florida legislature once considered annexing our campus as a joke?
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 16, 2018
Did you know that Lindsay Lohan has been seen around campus today? If you see her, please call campus security or 9-1-1 immediately. #HudsonSafetyAlert
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 16, 2018
Wow, there are a lot of these! Here’s another Hudson-themed show, only this time it’s on “Ricki Lake” #HudsonOnTV pic.twitter.com/n0pzQzwxTt
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 16, 2018
Hey, alumni- did you know that “donations” to Hudson’s alumni association can “improve” the grades on your transcript? Stop by the William Tripley, Sr. Alumni Center for more information.
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 16, 2018
Here we are, mentioned on Jenny Jones! #HudsonOnTV pic.twitter.com/kxASl68CNK
— Hudson University (@OfficialHudsonU) July 16, 2018